Advice from me to pregnant you

I have a LOT of friends/family who are pregnant right now and being as that I JUST had my little Sophia I get asked a lot of questions-Is this normal? Is that normal? Did you feel this? How bad is it? Will it get worse? First off-I'm not a doctor. Second-I'm hardly an expert at this- I recommend getting in touch with that Duggar women. She pry wouldn't be the best to ask about actually raising your children but I bet she has some good info on being pregnant. Third- I'm going to be honest. With a little sugar on top. I wish someone would have been honest with me. It might have scared the wits outta me but hey- nothing you can do to change it at this point right? Better to know in advance. That being said, following is my list of fun facts about pregnancy and my whole 4 weeks of knowledge about new mommy hood.

• The first 1-3 months are pretty much cake- you only know half that time anyways.
• As SOON as you find out you will start to worry your brains out. Don't. What's meant to be is.
• You'll spend the last 3 months wanting your baby out so you can make sure she is safe. You'll spend the first weeks of her life wishing she was still inside so you can make sure she is safe.
  
• DO NOT read What To Expect When You Are Expecting until at least 25 weeks. This book will have you convinced in a hour that everything that you feel is BAD and everything WILL go wrong.
• They say that the 2nd trimester is the best. They lie a little.
  
• They say the same about the 3rd trimester. They lie a LOT.
• Just when you think you couldn't feel any worse- you will. You still have to birth the baby.
  
• People in the public have no manners. I recommend a tazer. Keep those nasty stangers hands off you.
• There is a movie called "Orgasmic Birth". Watch it. Laugh. Be aware that it is all lies. You will not be this lucky.
• If you can see your feet at 25 weeks- I hate you. Ps.
• Don't brag about not swelling through your pregnancy- you'll swell even bigger after birth.
• Labor sucks. Plain and simple. Its not fun. It hurts.
  
• The epidural isn't that bad. You don't even see the needle and all the insertion does is take your mind off the contractions. Its kind of a vacation. ESPECIALLY once it kicks in.
• If the dumb nurses don't mention it- make sure you say when you are feeling a contraction coming during epidural placment.
• Try hard to feel your pushes and push properly. Pushing with no epidural is NOT FUN.
• Once labor is over-it gets worse. Enjoy!
• While in the hospital, send your baby to the nursery so you can rest. Its ok. She'll come back.
• The "lists" say to take makeup and hairstyling stuff with you to the hospital. This is dumb. You won't care or have the energy to do either of these things.
  
• Get over your modesty- especially if you breastfeed. You'll spend the first several days naked from the waist up.
  
• 4 weeks postpartum- still sucks.
• Borrow (steal) supplies from the hospital. I would ask for more and hide one in my bag and use the other. Those ice packs. Get those. If you have a nice nurse and ask- they'll stock you up with feel better things before you leave.
• The nursery is only cute until the baby comes home. Then things pile up.
• You'll probably cry a lot when you get home. Its ok. Cry. You'll feel better and so will baby.
  
• Breastfeeding hurts. A little for a little bit. It gets better though.
• If you are really stressed out its ok to put the baby down and let her cry a minute. She won't be hurt by it. Its hard in the first weeks, set her down and breath. Pick her up and try again.
  
• Get a routine down early. Notice- a ROUTINE. Not a schedule. Babies don't do schedules, they get angry.
• You've never spent so much time watching a baby sleep. I put a paci on Sophia's chest while she is sleeping so I can easily make sure she is breathing.
• Buy some cotton pants for your kiddo. What are they supposed to wear with the mountains of onsies you got at your baby showers?
• You can't spoil your baby. Cuddle her. Love her. Enjoy her.