Saturday, October 18, 2008
Pre-baby blues
There has always been all this chatter concerning the "baby blues"-mostly referencing post partum. However, I've been feeling a little in the dumps lately and did some research on pre-baby blues. Turns out-completely normal, and reasons vary from women to women. For me I think it has been my 100% un-supportive job. The thing is I like my work-the problem is that it is very physical and as I get further and further along I'm expected to be productive at the same level I was when I got the job-which is impossible as I used to move ovens and huge t.v.s all day and now I've been on a weight restriction (15 to 20 lbs) since nearly day one. The other problem is that my co-workers are very immature-not in a bad way but in the way that I am one of 3 married supervisors and one of 2 pregnant women in the store-the only supervisor. My manager actually has to research maternity leave because he doesn't remember the last time they had a pregnant employee stay to that point-they all quit before (how reassuring). Everyone else is still in school and parties every night-heck the managers in my store are mostly within a couple years of my age. So that makes it very hard to get any support because to most of them the concept of "family first" is foreign-they're still planning their 21st birthdays after all. I just get tired of feeling guilty that I'm pregnant and that I'm anemic and pre-diabetic which means that I get really tired really quickly, that I need to stop and eat a snack (which I do while ordering supplies or answering emails from my desk) and that I need to sit down every now and again and that no- I won't work 10 hour days and that yes I do have another doctors appointment and that some days I just don't feel well and can't be productive and I'm tired of apologizing for that. I just don't know what else to do. When I talk to my store manager all I get is her asking if I'm even capable of doing the job anymore-some support system. So I'm just biding my time and hoping it gets better-or at least not worse...Anyways-enough because I know I'm dragging everyone else down with me.
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