Some days

Some days nothing goes right. I mean NOTHING. Or it seems that way anyways. Usually its one thing that ruins your day and that usually happens first thing in the morning so everything else that is remotely not cool just seems that much worse. Today is that day. I was awoken at 7:30 a.m. by a husband who desperately wanted to go to bed because I have to work tonight. To bad for him I think I pulled every muscle in my right buttock and I'm not moving. At least until 8 a.m. and I'll have you know I think he stood outside my door and as soon as the clock flipped he woke me up. I was NOT happy. But fine, whatever, he makes the money so I need to get my aching butt out of bed. So I do. Then I pull a Bad Mom move of the week and stick Elmo in the DVD player. On repeat. And cat nap while my daughter dutifully watched. Or so I thought until I picked her up and realized she was SOAKING wet. Thinking that I've just picked up a baby who bathed in pee I get grossed out and head to change her diaper. Then I look in the kitchen and see that she really just upended an entire dog bowl full of water all over the place. I do not have small dogs. They DO NOT have small bowls. My kitchen? A river runs through it. *sigh* At any rate the girl needs new clothes. Dry ones. So I continue to the room where our clothes are housed, all the while she is thrashing and flipping about like I'm about to put her through a daily round of Chinese Water Torture. Seriously baby- its a diaper change. Dang. So after getting her changed I decide to head out and run my errands. Turn the car on. No gas. FA-bulous. So I have to stop at the over-priced station near my house and having only cash on me I have to go inside to pay. Which means getting Miss Sophia out of the car and walking in looking trashy as all get out with my barefoot baby with snot on her face, and myself wearing a shirt that I'm pretty sure has her lunch on it-from yesterday. Then, its off to the bank (along the way I receive to bits of DOES NOT MAKE ME HAPPY news), where it takes them approximately 300 million hours to take my mortgage payment. I mean, you think they'd move a bit faster since I'm GIVING THEM MY MONEY. But no. Then off to my bank to deposit some money to cover said mortgage payment and they deposit it in the wrong account. Again. For the 3rd time in as many months. Add another 300 million hours to fix it. Then I come home, baby girl is fast asleep, unaware of mom's mounting anger. I quietly take her to our room where one of my dogs promptly knocks over the fan and wakes the baby up. hfdjASNBHDJAHNFOSWHFOWHJALSDJNFC,DSMNBKFJVBG. Whatever, I lay baby down, because my other-not so smart-dog is contemplating jumping the fan, and well, that dog can barely pee without getting confused and falling over and I'm just not interested in cleaning up dog guts off my walls when she, inevitably, falls into the fan and can't get up. And seeing as how she weighs about 130 pounds- I couldn't help her out either. Luckily Miss Sophia lays downs and falls back asleep like the sweet darling girl she is. I set the fan up, and let monster dog out of the room and go out to the living room to enjoy my lunch. Edit that. MURDER ME A DOG. Not 1 minute has passed while I'm in the bedroom and STUPID decides to pee on the floor! Knowing she's in trouble, she hides under the table where she knows I won't get her because she has a tendency to bite when she is being drug out of whatever hidey hole she is in after pulling a stunt like this. So I'm left standing there screaming at my dog all sorts of horrible things, because, seriously, SHE'S POTTY TRAINED. Oh and she's available and won't argue back-so I go ahead and yell in her direction about everything else going wrong in my morning. She's in the garage now. Maybe she'll learn her lesson. I mean, c'mon even SOPHIA doesn't pee on the floor when she doesn't have a diaper on- usually, and anytime she has she starts to cry and look embarrassed. Its 1 p.m. I just don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of the day.